Parallel universes are hard to understand for most people, but that only makes sense since you can’t really see them but only remember them. Of course, theoretical physicists have an inkling. Actually it’s amazing that they can even conceive of something they can’t see, but maybe that’s just me.
I’m writing this because I learned somewhere that you can remember things better that you write down. I want to remember as much of this life as possible when I’m in the next one.
It wasn’t until my third life that I really began to understand. Memory is a funny thing. Even memories of this life get murky. Me and my brother have disagreements over what really happened to us as kids sometimes and we were both there in this life. So, you can imagine how murky memories of you previous life can be, not to mention the one before that.
It was a surprise to me when I first realized that the ‘door’ you go through when you die is merely to a parallel universe. In this other universe you have to start over as a baby because that’s the only way in. The Buddhists who believe in reincarnation almost have it right except for the part about being animals that advance up the evolutionary ladder. And the part about advancing in general. In fact, we don’t really seem to advance at all, just keep repeating the same mistakes.
I think maybe I am supposed learn from my mistakes. I just can’t seem to do it. Some things about me that are good seem to be good in every life. Every time I am a father and every time I am good at it. My kids turn out happy and productive members of society who have good kids of their own. Every time I am a bad husband and the wife finally gives up and moves on. I have never cheated on my wife in any life, but I have never been all a husband should be. Always thinking of me more than her.
In every life I have many different jobs before settling in on something I both enjoy and am good at. In every life I am middle class, at least so far. I may be born in India next time and I’ll have that issue solved for me by being born into a class. I sure hope it’s the upper class.
From this life I really want to remember Lisa. I want to remember her smell. I want to remember the intense look on her face when she orgasms. I want to remember how she makes me feel when we are together. Most of all I want to remember her wisdom. She once admitted to me that, when in the company of others, she spends most of her time thinking of things NOT to say. I wish I could do that. I spend much of my time thinking, “Why the hell did I just say that?”
Also, I want to remember the fact that she was smart enough to say no to me when I proposed. She was wise enough to know that loving me wasn’t enough, even though she knows I love her, too. She was wise enough to see down the road, and see the train wreck coming. She must have lived many lives.
I want to remember her refusal clearly because I really do want to improve. I want to remember so I can be better in the next life, even if just a little bit. If I improve just a little each time, surely I will eventually meet her again and be worthy.